you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
