I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
