worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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