You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
