I feel like abortions should bother me more
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
