i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
