Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
