I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
