She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
