Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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