I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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