if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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