I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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