we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
