haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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