there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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