I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
