maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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