oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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