Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
