So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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