i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
