its not stalking. its research.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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