I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
