I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
