i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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