these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
