Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
