It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
