Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
