I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I am one with the molecules
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
