super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
