would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
