He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
