I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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