Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
