uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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