I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
