I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
