i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
