Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Congratulations! We have a period
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
