I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
