I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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