Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
