He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
