I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
