Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
