Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
