I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
