the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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