Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
